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⚡ BROKEN NEWS HEADLINES
BREAKING: Sources confirm sources are the source of most sourced information.♥BREAKING: Nation reaches historic agreement — the problem is everyone else.♥UPDATE: Study shared 12,000 times. Still unread.♥BREAKING: Experts warn outrage levels unsustainable, fueled by partial info, strong opinions, and Wi-Fi.♥JUST IN: Local man wins heated debate entirely inside his own mind. Witnesses report devastating points, none audible.♥BREAKING: Scientists confirm people prefer headlines that validate beliefs over facts that challenge them.♥UPDATE: Area woman corrects stranger on internet. Stranger remains wrong. Feels great about it.♥BREAKING: Nation's supply of common sense reported critically low. Officials blame everyone but themselves.♥JUST IN: New poll finds 73% of Americans believe statistics are made up. The other 27% could not be reached for comment.♥BREAKING: Man absolutely certain he'd handle that historical atrocity differently.♥UPDATE: Democracy works great in theory, sources say.♥BREAKING: Local pundit concerned nation losing ability to hold two thoughts simultaneously. Nation disagrees. Also agrees.♥JUST IN: Internet argument concludes. Winner declared by winner.♥BREAKING: BBQ sauce feud enters third generation. Families refuse to comment. Ribs unavailable.♥UPDATE: Confidence levels remain high. Accuracy levels unavailable for comment.♥BREAKING: Sources confirm sources are the source of most sourced information.♥BREAKING: Nation reaches historic agreement — the problem is everyone else.♥UPDATE: Study shared 12,000 times. Still unread.♥BREAKING: Experts warn outrage levels unsustainable, fueled by partial info, strong opinions, and Wi-Fi.♥JUST IN: Local man wins heated debate entirely inside his own mind. Witnesses report devastating points, none audible.♥BREAKING: Scientists confirm people prefer headlines that validate beliefs over facts that challenge them.♥UPDATE: Area woman corrects stranger on internet. Stranger remains wrong. Feels great about it.♥BREAKING: Nation's supply of common sense reported critically low. Officials blame everyone but themselves.♥JUST IN: New poll finds 73% of Americans believe statistics are made up. The other 27% could not be reached for comment.♥BREAKING: Man absolutely certain he'd handle that historical atrocity differently.♥UPDATE: Democracy works great in theory, sources say.♥BREAKING: Local pundit concerned nation losing ability to hold two thoughts simultaneously. Nation disagrees. Also agrees.♥JUST IN: Internet argument concludes. Winner declared by winner.♥BREAKING: BBQ sauce feud enters third generation. Families refuse to comment. Ribs unavailable.♥UPDATE: Confidence levels remain high. Accuracy levels unavailable for comment.♥
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